Six months ago I found an old boyfriend on Facebook. I wanted to see how he was doing. I had not talked to him in 21 yrs. I always missed him, worried about him, and wanted to know what he was up to. Blue was my first love, first one to ask me to spend the rest of our lives together, I was 14 when we started dating, he just turned 17.
I found him in September, 2011 and by January, 2012 he was back in prison. I fell hard for him by the beginning of October. I am divorcing my husband of 18 yrs to be with someone who is going to be locked away for 5yrs. We barely got our relationship started, fell in love, and wanted to marry each other within a month of reconnecting. The old feeling came rushing back for both of us. We both have trust issues and that lead to him to make some really bad decisions that landed him in prison for 5 yrs. He was already on parole for a previous conviction, so he was given 5 yrs.
While he was in county waiting out court dates we talked and wrote each other a lot. It made it so much easier to deal with him being in jail. Oh, I forgot to mention he is in Joliet, IL and I am Justin, TX. There is about 1000 miles away. So regular visits are hard.
For the last couple of weeks he has been in receiving in Statesville waiting to be transferred to the prison he will spend his time. I have not talked to him in over 2 weeks, I haven't received a letter from him if over a week. He was able to send a couple of letters right before we was transferred from county to Statesville.
Every day I come home to check the mail hoping to get a letter from him. Every night about 7 PM I wait to see if he calls me. He typically would call me around 7 PM when he was in county.
All of this is completely new to me. Working my way through the prison system and trying to understand the rules. The emotions are completely new to me.. well sort of. I have been depressed, but this feels different. I have never been through anything like this before. I had a safe and secure life, now I worry about Blue's well being all the time. I know prison isn't exactly safe and his emotions are very negative and low. He wasn't in the best emotional state when he went in, nor for most of his life. So between missing him, wanting him close to me and everything else that goes with being in love, I worry about him being in prison.